Inadvertently Reaching You.

I bet you're sitting on your air bed, your computer chair, on the couch, somewhere, with your gorgeous blue eyes glistening in the light, tears staining your face, telling yourself life is unfair and cursing the God that's always done right by you. 


Everything turned black and white the moment you rushed into my house. I closed my eyes and time stopped and I asked God what was happening. I begged Him to make it all stop. It broke my heart that I broke yours. When I opened my eyes, I was dumbstruck, because you were still there. Your hands shaky, your eyes heavy, your heart racing. 


I had a moment of wonder when we were sitting, talking, challenging one another. I looked at your sweaty forehead; it was blemished and far from perfect. I saw your long, dark eyelashes, and fought the urge to brush away the loose one. I watched your mouth quiver, turn to stone, look defeated. I looked and saw your undeniable beauty. I saw the person I could never attain. You're not mine. 

You sat there, knowing the battle had been lost, and claimed Shakespeare to be stupid.

To which I looked back and said, "Shakespeare wasn't stupid; he wrote tragedies. He was a genius." 

The only thing I knew to do at that point was to consult God who never audibly answers me. 


You weren't there to see me once you walked away. Don't you think for a single second that I don't care because if you were God and saw from His omniscient view, you'd know that your words destroyed me. I can write how I saw you, but there aren't enough words in the vast english dictionary  to describe how I saw me. 


I know I confided in you. I know I have things to work on. I know I'm not perfect. 
I know you confided in me. I know you have things to work on. I know you're not perfect. 


I promise there is something better for you. 
And I promise it's not me. 


Yours until the pigs fly,
Alessondra Marie