Notice Me.

There's a new constant buzz in my ears due to my broken headphones. I've missed the slight murmur of casual chit-chat that lines Gregory Alan Isakov's lullabies. I forgot how my chai gets cold and my water turns warm. 


I used to stare down the best looking guy until he noticed. Then I would blush. But I've grown out of that. (For the most part.) I'd wonder if I'd ever find my prince. The one with the looks, the intelligence, and the love that i deserve. 

I took a minute to close my eyes and reflect:

Life itself is the most wonderful fairytale. 


Fairytales have always been an option in my mind. I've always looked for the magic in the world. I was the kid making up the adventurous games; creating poems to recite; learning about fairies and how to identify them during recess. I'd get my friends in trouble because I'd venture past the boundaries of the school when we weren't supposed to. 

But time taught me that Santa was nothing more than a far fetched fantasy. 

Adventure didn't exist in the way I needed it to.

I get the attention of my prince with no problem at all. But my immaturity and selfishness always manages to get in the way of my ability to love. I become clouded with angst and frustration.

I've lost the ability to create a new adventure or fantasy.

Despite the unmistakable rejection, the desire to seek out the impossible is constantly tugging at my heart. I feel like the character in the book that sits around waiting for years and years praying that something exciting would happen. 

Because of this, I understand why people decide to make bad company; we want to witness something worthy of controversy. The stink of cigarette smoke that never leaves our curls; the fragrance of booze purging through our pores; the desperate acts we do just to be noticed. 

Although a fantasy for some, it's a nightmare that is far from my happily ever after. 

So I'll open my eyes, count my blessings, and make the best out of the bored life that I've been given. 

Yours until the pigs fly, 

Alessondra Marie