I Have To Remind You...

there was nothing normal about that day.


i got out of bed, went to brush my teeth like i did every morning. my brother was already out of bed and in the kitchen watching ABC 7 news. i heard some of the dialogue that took place between my brother and my mother.


"what movie is that? they have really good graphics." 
"you know andrew, i don't think that's a movie. i think this is actually happening." 


then my brother called me out of the bathroom to watch it with him. as my brother and i sat and watched the second plane crash into the second tower over and over again, my mom called my dad at the firehouse, and begged him to come home. of course he didn't. 


"steph, i can't. you have to understand. i am not allowed to."
"no, you have to. you could die."


my brother and i slowly walked into our rooms, in complete disbelief. i was convinced i was going to die. that we were next. i was just waiting, literally, for the bomb to drop. in a desperate act to console myself, i insisted on bringing sally, my favorite stuffed bunny, to school. 


the school day started with an assembly. i remember what my principle said to us as if it were yesterday that she said it.


"you guys have nothing to worry about. you're safe here. whats going on isn't happening here. it's happening really far away. nothing bad will happen to you guys. i promise. i know you're all scared and don't completely understand; but that's okay. i'm scared too. but if we stick together, we'll get through this." 


as her words of safety sunk into my mind, i felt protected. shortly after that i realized that as i was safe in dublin, california, there were kids my age that were just as afraid as i was. but they had reason to be because it was actually happening to them. 


when we got back to the classroom, our teacher did the unthinkable; something completely unacceptable in a public school. 
she had us pray. 
as i grabbed my neighbors hand, for just one moment, my six year old brain wrapped around the idea that i was living through history. i realized that i was apart of something that would be taught to first graders just like me for years to come. and as quickly as the idea came, it left. 


the rest of the day consisted of movies and games. 


i went home, just to realize my mom and my neighbor's mom decided we weren't allowed to play outside. i remember stomping outside on the cement border between our houses, pouting about how it wasn't fair. i stood there trying to recompose myself, and as i did i looked around outside. the sky was overcast but it was hot and humid. suddenly i got goosebumps. i was terrified. 


it was as if the earth was mourning the loss of the lives too. 


my neighbor went back to her house; i went back to mine. my brother and i played video games the rest of the night. 


you see, i don't want to forget what happened. 


even though that day caused my irrational fear of flying. 
even though it scared me. 
even though it made me realize what kind of hate the people of this world are capable of. 


i don't want to ever forget. 


i don't want to forget what my fellow americans did for one another. i don't want to forget that firefighter and police men ran into an obviously fatal situation to save as many people as possible. they demonstrated selflessness. i don't want to forget the families that lost loved ones. i don't want to forget that people lost their mothers, fathers, children. i don't want to forget the thousands of heroic deaths that happened. 


if i do; if my six year old memory doesn't serve me right and i forget that day ten years ago, then what will stop you from forgetting? and if you forget, then all those deaths will be in vain. 


i don't want this to become another holiday where we hardly think about what happened many years ago. i don't want teachers to teach their children with a buffered curriculum because it might scare the kids. they need to know the reality of what happened on September 11, 2001. 


i want to commemorate those that lost their families, friends, and lives because of what happened ten years ago today. but i can't even find the words to describe the magnitude of what happened. i don't know how to explain how the terrorist attack affected my six year old life. but that's not the only thing it impacted, our personal lives, it changed the very fabrics of reality. it set a new standard of human cruelty. 


i don't want to hate those that did this to us. i feel sorry for them. i pity them. i hope god has mercy on all of their souls. there is no justification for what they did. they attacked innocent people. they took countless lives. they tried to disrupt and destruct our country. but instead of us individually falling down and turning against each other, we fell down together; as a country. we are the United States of America. we are united. so we got back up together; as a country. 


for this strength and demonstration of selflessness, i am proud to be an american. 


i pray for mercy on every last soul that was lost on that day. 
i pray for peace; may nothing like this happen again.
i pray for grace; bless everyone involved. 


sincerely, 
alessondra marie