Less Than Forty Winks.

i wake up.
i look above my bed covers that stack a mile high to see the sun kissing me through shut blinds.
i throw a pillow over my head. 
it reminds me of my fear of suffocating. 
i choose the lesser of the two evils. 
i roll back over, blow my nose, fall back asleep.


i wake up.
i wait for your shadowy figure to come around the dark corner and emerge into my room. 
i wait for you to wrap your long arms around me and make me feel better.
i wait for you to at least call.
you don't show up.
i roll back over, blow my nose, fall back asleep.


i wake up.
and although sleep continues to tug my eyelids closed, i stay awake. 
i turn on an animated box that is too loud. 
i open up another that is too bright.
i take care of my daily routine. 
my body moves rigidly. 
my hands are stiff from sleep. 
i roll back over, blow my nose, but i can't find myself to drift into the land of nod.


with nothing left to do, i decide to plea my case. 
i have a desire to know my kin.
i compair the reasons why i should to the reasons why i shouldn't.
god knows there are reasons why i shouldn't.
but a clay wall has been dried before i can finish. 
there is no shaping the outcome to my liking. 


all i see is red before he speaks his piece.
i think his explanations are futile.
an inappropriate laugh bubbles up inside of me.
but i push it down when i see his eleven lines appear. 
what have i got to lose anyway? 


apparently my life.


comical relief. 
it's blissful. 


the moon licks the edge of my shutters now.
i climb back into my crisp white sheets and look for something to satisfy me. 
my efforts are meek. 
but i find one thing.
"You'll learn for yourself how life goes"
i roll back over, blow my nose, and fall asleep.


yours until the pigs fly,
alessondra marie.