my longing and desire to go to london has not yet subsided.
i thought perhaps it was a phase; something short lived.
but the more i hide from my american culture and submerge myself into british culture,
the more i long to leave here and go there.
i just want to run away from my mediocre american teenager issues.
especially because they're no longer childish.
none of my problems derive from lack of maturity.
it all comes from growing up too fast.
i want to run away.
but i know i can't do that.
i want to fix it.
but i know i can't do that either.
so now i feel useless.
i have an insufficient purpose.
hell, i have to have a purpose in order for my purpose to be insufficient.
"night has always pushed up day
you must know life to see decay
but i won't rot, i won't rot
not this mind and not this heart,
i won't rot."
-M&S
yours until the pigs fly,
alessondra marie
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