Unfortunately, I Fell Asleep During Service.

i've had a whole week to think about everything. 
and yet i have not found a solution.


what do i want from myself? 
i still have no idea. 


i do know that i don't care to be just another person.
i learned that i yearn to be "behind the scenes". 


i want the privileges and responsibilities of an adult.
but i learned that beyond that, i have a great desire to be trusted by the authority of any group i participate in. 


if i'm not, i'm miserable. 


i feel so torn between what should be and what could be. 


and so alas, i have a decision to make. 


yours until the pigs fly,
alessondra marie