i used to play the game of life one of two ways. either i wouldn't play, or i'd play dirty.
some of the most important decisions of my existance were influenced not by passion, but by malice.
as i've grown and learned many different lessons, i've found a determination that doesn't derive from hurt, resentment, or spite.
i've found that my sweeter spirit comes from a place of deep desire, faith and hope.
this road that i chose to travel wasn't a necessity. i could have avoided my angst. but i was too self-absorbed to understand that i had a choice in my behavior.
i was mean.
i was unappreciative. i was selfish.
i wasn't me.
it damaged many people.
i repeatedly wish i could go back in time and express my gratitude.
there is no rewind button. i cannot take back my egomaniacal thoughts, actions, or comments.
all i can do is understand the damage i've created and hope that one day i can be forgiven.
and most importantly, i have to move on.
yours until the pigs fly,
alessondra marie
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